Beauty and the Beast: A Horny Love Story at Charing Cross Theatre is a gloriously queer panto packed with bawdy laughs, dazzling tartan-punk costumes, and THAT yellow kilt moment. Matt Kennedy charms as Bertie, Keanu Adolphus Johnson transforms as the Beast, and Matthew Baldwin’s Dame steals the show in jaw-dropping couture. Naughty but just avoiding crude—book now at charingcrosstheatre.co.uk!

A riotous queer comedy packed with innuendo and musical mischief! Two young lovers escape wartime London to a boarding house for “bad butch boys,” launching a campy, filthy twist on Narnia. Expect Mr Topless, Arselan the lion, and a Beaver with an appetite—plus reimagined show tunes like “Accepting My Depravity.” High-energy performances, clever jokes, and a sweet love story make this two-hour romp unmissable.

Sparkling, silly and stuffed with festive mischief, Potted Panto at Wilton’s Music Hall is back! Dan Clarkson returns with cheeky charm, joined by Gary Trainor for a fresh twist on classic pantos. Expect topical jokes, slapstick chaos, and even an AI 3D scene. A five-star treat for families—best for kids who know their Cinderellas from their Aladdins. Pure Christmas joy in London’s most magical venue!

Wicked Witches – A Popular Panto for Adults! at The Pleasance Theatre is a riotous, gender-bending twist on Oz, packed with laughs, audience participation, and a heartwarming message of inclusivity. Naughty, clever, and wildly entertaining, it’s easily the most fun I’ve had at the theatre all year. 5/5 stars.